Today was defiently a long day and it's only 7. I made a trip to Maryville, Mo to drop some things off to my ex and this was the first time I've seen him since the break up and it was really hard. Alot of things came up and has me thinking about everything. Me and him are working on ourselves this semester in order to become better people in the future. And it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done and it's only been a week since we reached this agreement that we have that I won't publicize. And seeing him today just brought back all the good and the bad things that had happened between us and I can't help but miss him more now. I'm trying so hard to be optimisstic but I feel like I'm fading and I'm not sure what to do. Here lately I've become really close with God and that has made me feel a little better but the path I am seeing is not one I can take right now because of what has happened. I want so bad to be as strong as he is right now. So confident in all of this but I can't help but long for something that is out of reach. So on the drive home this new poem was thought up and later written at my home. It's really a hard one for me to post because of the content but I feel like I need to in order to start feeling better. This one is called Fragile Heart.
Fragile Heart
Life slipping from my body
From the many wounds on my heart
All the tears cried from these eyes
For a love so far away
I don't know how much longer I can do this
My fragile heart is faltering
And slowly I am falling
Into the darkness
There was a time when I felt complete
But those days are just a memory
Too many pieces of my heart are missing
Stolen from my very being
Now I lay crumpled on the floor
Trying to hang on
I can't do this alone
i've tried for so long
I know God keeps me safe
But the lights are fading
Because I know where I should be
But I can't get there
So I just stare out into the world
Wishing to be whole again
I don't want to hurt anymore
But I don't know what to do
You can't see what I see when I look at you
And that's the worst
So until we can reach a solution
I'm afraid I won't feel complete
And my heart will slowly continue to give up
The clock is ticking
Fragile Heart
Life slipping from my body
From the many wounds on my heart
All the tears cried from these eyes
For a love so far away
I don't know how much longer I can do this
My fragile heart is faltering
And slowly I am falling
Into the darkness
There was a time when I felt complete
But those days are just a memory
Too many pieces of my heart are missing
Stolen from my very being
Now I lay crumpled on the floor
Trying to hang on
I can't do this alone
i've tried for so long
I know God keeps me safe
But the lights are fading
Because I know where I should be
But I can't get there
So I just stare out into the world
Wishing to be whole again
I don't want to hurt anymore
But I don't know what to do
You can't see what I see when I look at you
And that's the worst
So until we can reach a solution
I'm afraid I won't feel complete
And my heart will slowly continue to give up
The clock is ticking
